


Tales of the Inquisition

by ElliotGrey



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adventure, Dragon Age - Freeform, F/M, Ficlet Collection, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3316229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElliotGrey/pseuds/ElliotGrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short tales regarding the adventures of Cendres Lavellan and his companions in the Inquisition.<br/>Presented mainly as one-shots with tie in chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Your Arse is on My Keep

**Author's Note:**

> Phew, I have to admit, I'm a bit nervous for this. 
> 
> Previously I've been posting this story on Fanfiction.net, which I will still be doing, but I'm super excited to have the chance to put it here as well. Since I've already been posting, there will be four chapters that will come out here right away, the rest will follow whenever I get them finished, but I try to update at least once every 2 weeks.
> 
> That being said, I hope those of you who read this story will enjoy it, I know I've really enjoyed writing it.  
> If anyone has any comments or critiques I'd love to hear them.

As the sun set in the distance, a group of riders breached the hill over Haven. Those in it's company, one seeker, one Dwarven storyteller, one sassy Tevinter mage, and one very weary Dalish Elf, were barely keeping in their saddles.

The day had been eventful and exhausting.

 _Helped a few people in the Hinterlands, killed several groups of Bandits, saved a bunch of villagers; all in a days work for the Herald of Andraste_ , the elf thought as he pushed white bangs out of his eyes.

Fenedhis, he hated that title.

Cendres Lavellan had lived a simple life for as long as he could remember. He had grown up quietly among the others of his Clan, never aspiring to anything other than taking good care of his family. Then one day, his Keeper had come to him.

There were to be peace talks among the Shems, she said.

Go and see what's going on with this whole mage rebellion business, she said.

It's an important job, but shouldn't take long, she said.

Now 3 months in and Cendres was no closer to going home than the day he'd left. All because of a strange green mark.

With no idea what it was or how it worked, Cendres made miracles happen. He closed holes in the sky, fended off demons and had somehow managed to become the hope of salvation for all.

Yippee.

About the only good thing the elf had gotten out of the deal was the man currently riding beside him.

Dorian Pavus was a man as beautiful as he was witty. It hadn't been very long since he'd joined their ragtag group, and not everyone had been overjoyed to learn that the "Vint" would be signing on permanently.

Cendres, however, rather enjoyed the man's company. They would sit in the snow by the lake at Haven for hours, speaking of little things, something rare Cendres hung on to as the world roiled around him. He'd even begun teaching Dorian a little Elvhen. Only a little though, the mildly annoyed look on the man's face whenever Cendres used a word he did not know was ridiculously entertaining. " _Ma'samahl_ " was the main source of Dorian's frustration; a term of endearment Cendres had bestowed upon him, but would not tell the meaning of.

He thought it now, with a sigh, as he glanced over at the man.

The battle-worn mage was slumped over in his saddle, dozing off the evenings last battle. They'd been ambushed by a group of Templars near Redcliffe, a cruel fate after hours of wandering all over the countryside fighting demons. But hey, what's one more skirmish? Couldn't possibly be that bad.

Cassandra had at least three broken ribs and several cuts in various places.

Varric had been cracked on the head, resulting in a nasty bump. Thank the Maker dwarves had such hard heads.

Cendres was nursing a stab wound to the thigh and a battered back.

And Dorian, Cendres' silver eyes swept over the handsome mage, Dorian had been flung across the road by an angry Templar and smashed against the rocks that littered the ground. Thankfully he'd gotten away with only a mild concussion, he hoped, and not much else.

 _Ghi'lan'na'in_ , Cendres thought as they passed through the gates of Haven,  _Thank you for seeing us back safely_.

 _Well_ , he sighed,  _mostly safely._

"Herald! So good to see you, if you wouldn't mind, we need to speak about the housing arrangements for all the mages we recently took in?"

Josephine was already waiting for him at the door of the Chantry.

"My," Cendres drawled. "Of course, Josephine, I can think of nothing else I would rather do. I feel so fresh just now after our gay little romp through the hills. Indeed, lets please discuss this further"

"Now, now, Blinky," Varric chided as he helped Dorian into the Chantry. "It might be fun! You might leave with a migraine to distract you from your bleeding leg! Think positive!"

"I'm positively going to hit you," Cassandra grunted as she limped in behind them.

"Oh! My lord, I am so sorry! Of course we shall see to your injuries at once! If you'll just wait in the war room."

And with that Josephine was bustling off to find a healer and make Cendres' life a living void.

"Don't work too hard, I would hate to imagine frown lines on that pretty face of yours."

Dorian waved Varric off, moving over to lean against the elf, a wry smirk dancing on his lips.

"Tossed about like a rag-doll and you still have the energy to joke,  _Ma'samahl_?" Cendres chided, shifting to better support the mage.

"I'm resilient, what can I say?" Dorian laughed.

"Noted," Cendres smiled, passing the man off to the healers that had filed in.

"Now then, Herald," Josephine said, Cullen and Leliana appearing behind her. "Let's get you to the war room to be treated and then we can talk about the adjustments I'd-"

Josephine's sentence was cut off by a cry of surprise and a gasp from Leliana.

"Just who in the void are you and how did you get in here?!" Cullen shouted.

Cendres sighed and lifted tired silver eyes to the large wooden table in the center of the room.

He blinked.

Once.

Twice.

There, seated in the big middle of said table was a young Dalish girl, with features that mirrored his own. She grinned a bright smile, blue eyes shining out from under black bangs. Rather pleased with herself, his little sister was, rather pleased with herself indeed.

"Ceraes," Cendres sighed. "Do get off the table, _Da'assan_ , your arse is right in the middle of our keep"


	2. Providing Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cendres is less than pleased at his sisters arrival, which causes a fair amount of tension. Thankfully Dorian's around to calm him down.

Dorian shifted uncomfortably in his seat, this evening had  _ **not**_ gone as planned.

Snatch a certain elf away from Josephine's clutches, sneak off to the lake, share a bottle of wine,  _ **that**_ had been the plan. This was a travesty in comparison.

After getting over the initial shock, Josephine had insisted the members of the Inquisition sit down and be properly introduced to the blue eyed Dalish girl.

Cendres'  _ **sister**_.

Ceraes, that was her name, wasn't it? Dorian looked with mild interest at the young elf. She was pretty, he'd give her that, and brave to be sure. Surprisingly enough, everyone had been fairly eager to hear all about how the girl had managed to make it all the way to Haven by herself.

 _Well_ , Dorian thought, stealing a glance at Cendres.  _Not everyone._

After weeks of chatting with and staring at the elf when he wasn't paying attention, Dorian liked to think he knew Cendres pretty well.

Right now, for example, the elf's face was a blank, passive mask. Meaning, of course, that he was just this side of pissed.

His silver eyes were focused intently on his sister, but in a way that told Dorian he wasn't actually looking  _ **at**_ her, more like in her general direction.

And that was when Dorian noticed just how quiet it had become. A quick glance around told him everyone in the room was staring at Cendres, whose eyes had finally focused on the young girl. Only Ceraes' voice still rang out and she was clearly too wrapped up in her story to notice anything was amiss.

"Ceraes," Cendres' voice echoed off the surronding silence.

The girl finally looked over at her brother, grinning, but as soon as she met his eyes all the color drained from her face. She, at least, seemed to realize how angry her brother was, everyone else just looked confused.

"If you'll all excuse us," Cendres said mildly as he rose from his chair to stand behind Ceraes. "I need to speak with my sister."

Ceraes turned in her chair, mouth open to respond, but whatever she was going to say died on her lips with one look from Cendres.

" _ **Now**_."

And with that, Cendres turned on his heel and strode out of the room, Ceraes rising to follow meekly after him.

 

* * *

 

Hours later, yelling, mostly in broken Elvish and mostly from Ceraes, continued to ring through the Chantry.

"Maker's breath," Cullen growled, looking up from a stack of papers. "How long are they going to keep that up?"

"Until they reach a resolution, I expect," Leliana sighed.

"Perhaps we should check in on them?" Josephine suggested, looking hopefully at the the two.

A long silence passed between them.

"Oh for pity's sake," Dorian scoffed. "Don't everyone just jump in at once."

All three advisors stared at him and he snorted, wandering away toward Cendres' chambers.

The shouting had dimmed, but Ceraes could still be heard speaking rapidly, dipping in and out of Elvish, presumably pleading with her brother to see reason. A bit closer and Dorian could make out most of the conversation.

Something about being lonely and frightened.

You know how they are, they never really accepted us. I'm no safer there than anywhere else, blah blah blah. Then finally:

 _"_ ENOUGH _! NA VIR VHEN'AN!"_

Dorian didn't think he'd ever heard Cendres yell before, not like that at least. He'd shouted orders on the battlefield, certainly, but this was something entirely different.

Ceraes burst out the room in tears, nearly bowling Dorian over as she sprinted down the hall and away from her brother.

The mage blinked, shaking his head as he once again approached Cendres' doorway. He was all ready with a witty remark, something clever about family spats, but it caught in his throat when he finally actually saw Cendres.

The elf was seated by his window, elbows resting on his knees as he stared away into nothing. He just looked  _ **so**_ exhausted. It took the wind right out of Dorian's sails. The elf had looked tired before of course, but never like this. Never so completely worn out and empty.

"I suppose you heard that?" Cendres lifted his head slightly, staring at the mage.

"Some of it," Dorian admitted as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. "But if anyone can understand arguing with one's family, its me."

Cendres nodded, his head angling down once more.

"Want to talk about it?" Dorian asked, kneeling in front of him.

"Not particularly."

"Hmmmm?" Dorian pressed, tilting his head so that his and the elf's eyes could meet.

Cendres sighed heavily, rising to stand by the window.

"She was lonely. I left so suddenly, then never came back. The clan's never really accepted us, not with everything that happened with my family and the fire."

The fire, Dorian remembered that conversation.

They'd been resting by the lake after Dorian had lured him away from a meeting with his advisors when the mage asked about the scar on his eye. Cendres told him of how a fire had broken out in the forest his clan had been camping in. Both his parents had passed away in the fire and the rest of the clan assumed Cendres had as well. That is, until he'd emerged from the ashes with no burns, just a scar over his left eye. Unfortunately this lead the clan to believe that Cendres' parents had started the fire, why else would their son be spared when so many of the clan had perished? It had originated at their home, hadn't it? After that, life in the clan had never been the same for the young man. He'd always been somewhat of an outsider being that his parents had decided to live mostly apart from the clan, but this was different. Now when they looked at him, he saw not just weary curiosity but anger and malice.

There was more to the story, Dorian knew, but the elf had ended it there, so he'd resolved not to pry. Not yet, at least.

"Life used to be simple,"Cendres mumbled, covering his face with his hands. "I only had to worry about my family, no one else mattered. Now I have to think about the needs of the many; worry for people I don't even know."

The elf began pacing around the room in circles, his hands shaking, his voice rising.

"I dream of children dying, families torn apart, innocent people's lives destroyed and it kills me. What if I can't save them? What if I make the wrong choice? What if everything I do, everything I've done thus far, is a mistake? I don't have time to worry about her! I can't possibly protect her when I have the entire world to worry about! And I just-"

Dorian caught the elf's hand as he raced by and pulled him close against his chest. Cendres struggled, surprised for a moment, before he gave in and slumped against the mage. His whole body shaking now as his hands fisted in Dorian's robes.

The mage tucked Cendres' head beneath his chin, stroking his hair and crooning soft, calming words in Tevene. His heart ached to see the elf, normally so strong and self assured, so upset and fearful, it was unbearable.

"I'm sorry. "

It was spoken softly, barely audible with his face buried in Dorian's shoulder.

"You have nothing to apologize for,  _amici mei_ ," Dorian replied, pulling away to look Cendres in the eyes. "There is so much resting on your shoulders, we can hardly expect you to be witty and well adjusted at all times, now can we?"

Cendres stared up at him, his silver eyes searching Dorian's face.

Dorian smiled gently, lowering his forehead till it pressed against the other man's.

"How about this? Whenever you feel a mental breakdown coming on, just call me. My charm does wonders for ones shattered nerves."

Cendres hummed quietly in response, closing his eyes.

" _Ma serannas, ar vena atisha in na."_

Dorian grinned, "Say what now?"

"Thank you," Cendres smiled up at him.

"Oh I know that part, it's that last bit I'm fuzzy on. Still learning, remember?"

Dorian's eyes drifted to Cendres' lips, still gently curved, "You look good in a smile, you should do it more often."

"Oh?" Cendres' smile turned playful, his eyes half lidded, glowing in the candlelight.

"Oh, indeed," Dorian pressed closer, his head tilting further down, inches away from pressing his lips against the elf's. Just a bit closer.

"Brother?"

A knock shook the door and the two men sprang apart like startled rabbits.

"Brother, can I come in? I'm sorry I ran away earlier, please, I have to make you understand."

Cendres practically flew to the door, catching the handle and holding it tight, preventing his sister from entering.

"Not now, Ceraes!" He huffed.

"Talk to her," Dorian urged, resting a hand on his shoulder. "She's your sister, do you really want her to leave?"

Cendres stared at him, hesitating.

"Go, your puppy dog eyes are making me ill. How am I supposed to keep up my reputation with you around? Whatever will people say? Great, scary, Tevinter mage reduced to puddle by the Herald of Andraste's doe eyes. Ridiculous."

The corners of the elf's mouth curled up ever so slightly; the usual Cendres smile. He was himself again.

Dorian grinned back, gesturing to the door.

Cendres turned, "I'll be right with you,  _Da'assan_ , wait for me in the war room."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Na vir vhen'an - You will go home! (literally: you go home)
> 
> in na ar vena atisha - You bring me peace (literally: I find peace in you)
> 
> Da'assan - Little arrow
> 
> amici mei (latin) - my friend
> 
> Phew, well, that one took a lot longer than the first one. I think it came out quite well though. Anywho, thanks for reading, updates will be whenever I can manage to pull together a new chapter, but I should have one every two weeks at least.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, if anyone is interested in leaving reviews I would be over the moon to read them.
> 
> Until next time =D


	3. Her Brother's Keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Look, I get it, I'm the younger sister, I'm the one who should be looked after. And I am, but sometimes, just sometimes, he needs to be looked after too. Sometimes he needs someone watching out for him, someone to step in."

He said yes! He said  _ **yes**_! Glorious Dia, he said yes!

Ceraes flew from the room laughing and grinning, spinning in circles as she sped off to find her place among the Inquisition. Behind her she heard a faint chuckle and her brother's voice.

"You laugh now, but I'll live to regret this; wait and see." He drawled.

Ceraes skidded to a halt and spun around to make a face at her grouch of a brother, but what she saw made her pause.

The mage, Dorian, was leaning against the doorframe, smiling gently at Cendres. He had a very odd sort of look in his eyes, a fondness Ceraes wasn't quite sure she understood. Her brother wasn't even looking, he was too busy staring at the papers on the table in front of him, and when he finally did glance up, the look was gone, replaced by mischief and charm.

_How interesting,_  Ceraes thought, watching the man move to stand beside her brother, their arms brushing lightly.  _How_ _ **very**_ _interesting indeed._

Then she saw her brother do something truly amazing.

He laughed. Really laughed.

Not his usual puff of air accompanied by a smirk, but a real, full bellied laugh.

The mage had murmured something in his ear and Cendres' whole body shook with laughter, a huge smile stretching across his face.

She watched as things calmed and the two became absorbed in some book the mage had brought with him. She quickly turned away however, as they drifted ever closer to one another; their heads bowed over the tome creating a sort of barrier no one else could enter. It felt like she was intruding, seeing something meant only for the two of them.

She strode away, blushing and wondering if what she thought was going on was really going on. Cendres never laughed, or smiled, at least not like that, and he most certainly never let  _ **anyone**_ besides his family that physically close to him and even then he was usually still clearly uncomfortable. She would ask around, she decided, surely her brother's companions must have some opinion on the matter. After all, they'd spent much more time with the pair than Ceraes had.

 

* * *

_Useless_ , Ceraes growled, firing another arrow into the targets on the training grounds.  _All bloody useless._

Honestly, how hard was it to give an opinion? It was a simple question, was it not?

"What is Dorian and my brothers' relationship like?"

She loosed an arrow for every clueless companion, glaring at the target across the way as though it had personally wronged her.

_Cassandra._

"Relationship? They speak of old books and the like, is that what you mean?"

_Solas._

"I cannot speak to such things, perhaps you should ask them directly."

_Sera._

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

_Blackwall._

"What?"

_Viviene._

"Why, whatever do you mean, my dear?"

_The Iron Bull._

"Oh, I can imagine all sorts of 'conversations' between those two."

_Varric._

"Hahaha! Why ask me? I doubt even they know."

The last arrow punched straight through the target.

"Do you intend to keep that up? If so, you're going to have to help make new ones."

Ceraes spun around, coming face to chest with a very handsome, blond man in strange ruffled cloak. She blushed, Creators he was tall, and ducked her head.

"Sorry, just distracted"

The man raised an eyebrow but simply shook his head.

"It's alright, Ceraes, was it?"

Ceraes looked up, surprised, "How did you know my name?"

The man laughed, "We met not long ago, though it was rather brief, your brother took you away quite quickly."

"Commander Rutherford!" Ceraes squeaked, turning crimson, she'd just met him earlier that evening, how could she have forgotten already? "I'm so sorry, of course!"

"No need to be sorry, and please, my name is Cullen." He gestured to a bench not far away, "Sit, you look troubled. I thought you'd be happy now that Cendres said you could stay."

"Oh, I am," Ceraes said, sitting down. "I'm just frustrated, does no one here know how to answer a simple question?"

Cullen sat beside her, raising his eyebrows, "Depends on the question, I suppose."

"What kind of relationship do my brother and that mage, Dorian, have?"

Cullen laughed, shaking his head, "Well there's your problem, no one knows." He waved a hand toward the Chantry. "Oh sure, they sneak off together, but they've never done anything. Trust me, word would get around. I mean, when would they even have time?"

Ceraes frowned, "Yes but this is serious, I need to know."

"Why?"

"He's my brother."

"And are you your brother's keeper?"

"Yes," Ceraes looked him straight in the eye and every trace of the mischievous girl who'd appeared on their war table vanished. Before him sat a serious and mature young woman, concerned for her brother's well being.

"Look, I get it, I'm the younger sister, I'm the one who should be looked after, and I am, but sometimes, just sometimes, he needs to be looked after too. Sometimes he needs someone watching out for him, someone to step in. And I can't do that with everyone acting like they have no idea what I'm talking about."

Cullen nodded slowly, surprised at the sudden change. "You're more than you appear, aren't you?"

"I like to have fun, but I know when to be serious, and when to look ahead with caution, yes."

"Well then," Cullen said, shrugging, "My honest answer for you is that none of us really know. It's obvious they enjoy one another's company, anyone with eyes can see that. Now it's up to them to decide where they go from here."

"So, what? I just wait?"

"Yes."

Ceraes made a face, looking away, "I guess I'll have to learn some patience then. In the mean time, I shall also have to tease them. Mercilessly."

"Let me know how that goes," Cullen replied, chuckling. "So then, what about you?"

"What about me?" Ceraes frowned.

"You never did finish your story about how you got here, and I don't know anything about you other than your name really. Care to share?"

Ceraes blinked, "You want to know about me?"

Cullen nodded.

"But, why?"

"I need a particular reason other than curiosity?"

"Well, no, I just…" She trailed off. "My story is Cendres' story, he raised me, made me who I am, to know him is basically to know me."

"I highly doubt that."

Ceraes looked at the commander, searching his face for malicious intent. When she found none, she smiled ever so slightly.

"Alright then, my story it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, thank you so much for reading Chapter 3 of Tales of the Inquisition!
> 
> I'm enjoying writing these so much, I really hope they're of decent quality. I always worry and wonder if my writing is good enough.
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter and seeing a bit more of Ceraes.
> 
> Thanks again for reading, and I'll see y'all in the next chapter :D


	4. Vir Harel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My Keeper called it Vir Harel. It's something that happens, something inside some of us, that eats us away. Tears us down, makes us not ourselves and fills us with fear. But fear isn't even the right word for it, because it's not really scary. I mean, sometimes it is, but mostly it's just a sense of wrongness. Something is wrong and you can't stop it from being that way"

"We'll begin here, moving toward the breach with our warriors out front."

_Not yet_

"The mages should follow close behind, we'll need them nearby when we arrive at the breach."

They were all gathered around the war table, all the members of their little group listening to Cullen lay out the assault on the Breach. It was time they addressed it, time it was closed. Cendres looked around at the faces he'd grown to know and trust and his heart hammered in his chest.

_Dia, help me, I'm not ready, I can't do this._

" _Ha'el_?" Ceraes murmured as she lay a hand on her brothers shoulder, leaning in close. His hands were on the table before them, clenched into tight fists, knuckles white as snow against his already pale skin.

_Oh no,_  her eyes widened and she felt her stomach clench.

His eyes were fixed open, staring into nothing. His face impossibly pale and his hands were shaking now. He was trying so hard to keep his composure.

_**It**_ was happening.

" _Ha'el,_ Cendres, look at me." Ceraes glanced around the table nervously, thankfully no one seemed to have noticed anything was wrong. Or so she thought. Unbeknownst to her, a certain mage was watching the siblings with growing concern.

She finally caught her brother's eyes and what she saw made her heart ache.

"Goodness, I'm awfully tired, I mean, some of us just got back from a scouting mission. Do you think we could finish this up a little later? At least long enough to change into something that  **isn't** covered in giant blood?" Ceraes made a show of lifting her bloody cloak and pulling a face at the smell.

"This is important, Ceraes," Josephine frowned. "All of Thedas is counting on us to fix this, we must be prepared."

Out of the corner of her eye, Ceraes saw her brother flinch and surged on ahead.

"Oh yes, I know, I just thought we all might need a little-GREAT CREATORS! Sera, what are you doing to Cassandra's coat?!"

The entire room swung around to stare at Sera, who was indeed standing beside Cassandra but completely innocent for once.

"What?! I haven't done shite!"

"Don't be childish now, just apologize and fix it." Ceraes chided, subtly nudging Cendres toward the door.

"What have you done now, Sera?! You had better not have smeared something on me!"

"I have NOT! Jus' cause she says I did somethin, don't mean a damn thing!"

The two women grew louder and louder, drawing all attention away from Ceraes' side of the room and when she heard the creaking of door hinges, a wave of relief passed over her. Sera and Cassandra were so loud, no one else heard him leave. She hoped he could find a good place to calm down.

With that she turned her attention back to the argument, completely missing Dorian slip out behind her.

 

* * *

 

Something was wrong.

Dorian frowned worriedly at Cendres from across the room.

The elf looked terrible, his whole body was shaking, and he seemed to be trying desperately to ignore everything and everyone around him.

The mage watched Ceraes lean over and grew even more concerned when he saw her stiffen. Suddenly she was making some lame excuse to put off the conversation at hand, but the others weren't having it.

Apparently whatever was happening to Cendres, was something Ceraes didn't want anyone to see.

He had just begun picking his way over to the elves when Ceraes shouted an accusation at Sera.

The others turned to look and she started pushing her brother toward the door.

When it was clear no one was paying attention anymore, Cendres bolted. He threw open the door and ran, and without even considering why, Dorian followed.

 

* * *

 

_Run._ _**Run**_ _._

Cendres tore open the war room door and sprinted out through the Chantry. He couldn't breath, he couldn't think, he just ran. He nearly crashed into Mother Giselle as he fought his way out of the building.

"Herald? Herald?!"

He didn't hear her, he only ran. Through Haven, past the tavern, out the gates, into the snow.

_What if you fail? What then? The world is counting on you. You can't do it, you'll only make things worse. You'll be the death of them all. The world will end, children will suffer and die, and it will all be your fault._

Half way there, he could see the lake and the forest stretching out past them.

_You'll let them down, in the end. They'll wonder why they ever believed in you. Everything you love will burn again. All your fault. Again._

He was on the other side of the lake now, almost home free.

"Cendres!"

A hand clamped around his wrist, hauling him back. He fought against it, clawed at the fingers holding him, struggling toward the quiet safety of somewhere,  _ **anywhere**_  but here.

"Cendres! Cendres, stop!  _Amici,_ please!"

_Dorian?_

Cendres froze, his eyes still fixed on the trees ahead.

The mage pulled on the elf's wrist, forcing Cendres to face him. He was not prepared for what he saw.

The elf's eyes were wide against his ashen face, filled with terror and desperation. He stared intently into nothing, determined, it seemed, to be as empty as humanly possible. His whole body shook, how he was even standing, Dorian couldn't begin to imagine.

"Cendes," Dorian murmured again and the elf finally looked at him, then immediately down.

"Dorian," He was trying to sound calm, nonchalant. He was failing. "Why did you follow me? I just needed some air, I'm fine, really, please let me g-"

He trailed off, staring at the hand still firmly clasped around his wrist. It was bleeding. Lines of torn skin stretching from the mage's fingers to his wrist glared back at Cendres.

"Ah," Dorian coughed. "Yes, well, you really didn't want to be stopped, did you?"

The mage let go, pulling his hand back, but Cendres caught it. He crumpled even as he clung to it, tears slipping down his face.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, sliding to his knees.

And Dorian followed to catch him, wrapping strong arms around the smaller man, letting him bury his face in the crook of his neck.

Surely the world must be ending, there could be no other explanation, Dorian thought, as his arms tightened around the elf. This was not his Cendres, not the man he'd come to know.

An endless stream of apologies poured from Cendres' lips, some in Elvish, some in Common, and Dorian responded with soft words of reassurance, his fingers gliding gently through the other man's hair.

They knelt there together until the sun began to set and Cendres' heartbeat slowed to the steady pace of Dorian's own.

 

* * *

 

"My Keeper called it  _Vir Harel_ ," Cendres murmured hours later as Dorian ruffled his snow soaked hair with a cloth.

They'd gotten more than a few suspicious looks when they'd drifted back through Haven, damp and shivering from the snow. Cendres still had one very awkward apology to Mother Giselle to make, but they'd both figured that could wait till later.

Ceraes was more than a little surprised to see Dorian when she intercepted them at the door of the chantry. Thankfully she'd just shaken her head and waved them away to Cendre' quarters so they could avoid any unwanted questions.

Now here they were, Cendres perched on the edge of his bed, with Dorian standing in front of him, drying his hair.

" _Vir Harel_." Dorian repeated, brushing still damp hair out of the way to rub the cloth over the elf's delicate ears.

"It loosely translates to 'The Dread'."

Cendres still wouldn't look at him, but pressed on with his explanation.

"She said it's something that happens, something inside some of us, that eats us away. Tears us down, makes us not ourselves and fills us with fear. But fear isn't even the right word for it, because it's not really  _scary_. I mean, sometimes it is, but mostly it's just a sense of wrongness. Something is wrong and you can't stop it from being that way"

"Most of the time it's not so bad; it's not always so violent. Most of the time it's littler, just a gnawing worry, that mean little voice inside your head, whispering bad things. Most of the time you can choke it down, hold it in, push it away, convince yourself it's alright. Most of the time you feel the wrong, and you have to go away to be alone and breath or count to a hundred or tell yourself you're okay, everything is okay, but it's manageable."

Cendres finally looked up, weary silver eyes meeting the mage's quiet gray, and Dorian's hands stilled in his hair.

"But sometimes...Sometimes it feels like drowning. Sometimes it feels like nothing you do will ever matter again because something is  _ **wrong**_."

"Sometimes it's something big, like a world changing decision, like the Breach. Sometimes it's something small, like an item that's sat in one place for years is now sitting in another. Sometimes it's something in particular; that one item in the same place or the Breach. And sometimes it's nothing. Sometimes it just happens for no reason at all."

"That's when it's really terrifying. Because you know, you just  _ **know**_  that something is  _ **wrong**_ , but you don't know what it is, or how to fix it. Nothing you do, nothing you tell yourself, matters. The wrongness persists, this heavy pressure, this desperate need to run and not stop until you physically cannot run any more, until, finally, it just isn't there anymore. And just like that it's gone and you're left wondering what in the Maker's name is wrong with you because this is  _ **not**_ normal.  _ **You**_ are not normal and nothing ever feels quite right again. Not after that."

Dorian let the cloth slide from his hands and sat next to the elf, resting his torn hand on Cendres' knee.

The elf lay his hand on top of Dorian's, and, for such a sarcastic, strong, and fierce man, looked for all the world like a kicked puppy.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, I never meant to-"

"It's just a few scratches,  _amici_ , it'll heal." Dorian squeezed the elf's fingers gently. "I must say though, I was surprised, you're usually so in control. It shocked me to see you so distraught. It was very unlike you."

"That's what's so bad about it," Cendres groaned, his eyebrows knitting together. "It  _ **is**_  so unlike me. It's nothing like me.  _ **I**_ am quiet, and confident, and in control.  _ **That**_  is loud, and terrified, and unmanageable. It's not normally like that, usually I can handle it better. I'm sorry you had to see me this way."

"Excuse you," Dorian huffed. It was about time things went back to normal. He would get the elf to smile if it killed him. "Do you not remember what I said last time? My charm does wonders for shattered nerves? Hmm?"

Cendres' mouth twitched, "So if I'm going crazy just come find you? You sure you want that kind of responsibility? If so, I suggest you go to Ceraes for pointers, I can be very difficult to manage."

"Please, one look at my serene visage and all you'll be able to think is: 'How amazing that man over there is. Not to mention handsome and witty and-'"

"Modest?" Cendres chuckled, his eyes shining.

"Modesty is for priests and Heralds. If one knows one's virtues, why shouldn't they claim them?"

"Heralds?" Cendres raised an eyebrow, "Are you talking about me?"

"Certainly, and on you it is lovely, because whenever anyone praises you, you go a rather fetching shade of red."

Cendres blushed.

"Just like that!"

"Hush." Cendres muttered, and Dorian just grinned.

"Honestly,  _amici_ , you're right, you aren't normal."

Cendres frowned, but Dorian took his hand again and pressed on.

"But who wants to be normal? Normal is boring. If you and I were normal, neither of us would be sitting here. We wouldn't be friends."

"Well," Cendres murmured. "I certainly wouldn't like that."

"Nor I," Dorian gave his hand another squeeze. "So lets be abnormal. I'll be the egotistical mage and you be the basket case Herald and together we'll drown anyone who doesn't like it."

Cendres laughed, a smile stretching across his face.

"Deal. And Dorian?"

Their eyes met and Dorian felt his heart stumble.

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha'el - Older
> 
> Dia - the gods or the Creators
> 
> Vir Harel - The Dread (literally: The Way of Dread)
> 
> Amici - Friend (latin)
> 
> Goodness that was a long one. Or, at least, it felt like it to me. I've been bouncing back and forth trying to decide when to reveal this certain tidbit of info about Cendres.
> 
> In case it wasn't obvious, Vir Harel is my Dragon Age equivalent of chronic anxiety.
> 
> Before I say anything else, please know that I'm not saying this is how anxiety is for everyone. Everyone is different and has different symptoms, Cendres is shaped by my own personal experiences, that's all. Anxiety can't be pegged down to a certain set of symptoms or problems, it is hugely multifaceted and I would never presume to say I knew all about it.
> 
> That being said, I've been fighting my particular beast for a long time; that bit about the object in one place for years was a personal experience of mine from when I was a kid. It really is crippling. It keeps you from trying new things, meeting new people, accepting change and just growing in life. I still can't/don't/won't drive because of it.
> 
> It's silly, but imagining my Inquisitor, the person who, as The Iron Bull says, can make the hard decisions and live with them, as having this problem was incredibly cathartic for me.
> 
> I remember the first time I imagined him having a panic attack was right after the Inquisition is formally announced and you stand with Cassandra and the others in front of the Chantry. After you get control again I remember thinking:
> 
> "Wow, that's a lot of pressure, what did he do right after that? I mean, you know some time had to have passed. Did he just stand there in the same place for an hour or two trying to process what just happened." And it hit me. Yes, he did just stand there and he had a small panic attack. All this weight's just been put on his shoulders, what else would he be doing? I just imagined everyone dispersing and Cendres still standing there like, "No you all go ahead, I'll catch up, I just wanna stand here and breath for a second because holy god what have I gotten myself into?"
> 
> That's not to say I imagine everyone's Inquisitor as having chronic anxiety, just mine. It made him a much more relatable character for me and actually made me think more about the choices I made.
> 
> This particular story came from when I found myself searching for reasons NOT to close the Breach.
> 
> After I collected Dorian and the mages, I finished all of the Hinterlands (yes ALL of it), then the Stormcoast and Fallowmire. I even unlocked and completed all that I could of the Forbidden Oasis. I just did NOT want to move on to the Breach. No real reason, I just kept putting it off.
> 
> Not yet, I said to myself. I'm not ready. He's not ready.
> 
> When I realized I what I was doing, I had to laugh. And I knew I had to write something about it.
> 
> So there you go, I hope you enjoyed this Chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Sometimes I worry that I present Cendres poorly, but hopefully I get my points across well enough that you all understand his character pretty well. He holds it all in till it drives him crazy, I think I made that clear. I hope I did =P
> 
> As always, any feedback is greatly appreciated.
> 
> Thanks for reading, I'll see you in the next one =]


	5. When Nothing's Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Cendres had agreed to set off one last avalanche, Ceraes had gone to Dorian and made him swear.  
> He would protect her big brother.  
> He wouldn't let anything happen to him.  
> The mage had looked her dead in the eyes and promised.

She had made him promise.

When Cendres had agreed to set off one last avalanche, Ceraes had gone to Dorian and made him swear. He would protect her big brother. He wouldn't let anything happen to him. The mage had looked her dead in the eyes and promised.

 _It's going to be okay,_ Ceraes thought, staring wide eyed as Haven was swallowed by the falling mountain.  _It's going to be okay._

 

* * *

 

_Any minute now he's going to come walking up like it was nothing._

She scanned the trees in the distance, chewing her lip as Cullen came to stand with her, a comforting presence at her side, and placed a hand on her shoulder. They waited like that for hours, watching, hoping, until the Commander finally convinced her to step away and sit by the fire

 _He's always late,_ Ceraes thought, staring into the flames as Cullen draped a blanket around her shoulders. _He couldn't be on time if his life depended on it. He's probably just taking a rest or something._

"Someone's coming!" A scout cried, pointing into the distance.

Ceraes sprang to her feet,  _There he is, that's him. He's back, everything's going to be alright._

But as the shadowy figures came into view, her heart began to sink.

Cassandra wouldn't look at her.

Varric tired to speak, his mouth opened and closed, attempting to find the right phrase, but was, for once, at a complete loss for words

And then there was Dorian. The moment she laid eyes on Dorian she knew nothing would be ever alright again.

"Where is he?" Ceraes stepped toward the mage. She reached out a hand to him and he pulled back, eyes fixed, expressionless, on the ground

"Where is he, Dorian?"

He flinched to hear his name and looked away,

Ceraes' vision blurred, her heart hammering in her chest, and she flew at him, grasping his robes and shaking him.

"Where is he?! Dorian, where is Cendres?! WHERE IS MY BROTHER?!"

His face crumpled and he finally looked at her. His eyes spilled over, tears streaming down his cheeks, and he opened his mouth as if to reply.

She hit him then, slapped him as hard as she possibly could. His head snapped to the side from the force of it.

"You promised! You said you'd keep him safe!" She screamed and struck him over and over, hitting his chest with tiny fists and shaking all over.

"You were supposed to protect him! You promised me! You  _ **promised**_  me!"

Cullen appeared behind her and caught her wrists, holding them fast. She fought against him, struggling to reach the man who'd failed her, who'd let her down. She strained in his grasp, only to have him pull her closer, hold her tighter, until she collapsed in his arms.

"I want my big brother," She whispered and when the reality that he was gone, really  _ **gone**_ , finally set in she began to wail.

 

* * *

 

Hours later, Dorian stared into nothing, trying to recall the last real conversation he'd had with Cendres. It had been something simple, not of any real consequence, about some book in the library at Haven. It meant so little, they'd said nothing interesting or meaningful, but Dorian found himself replaying the moment in his head again and again. A thousand images of his friend's face flashed through his mind. The elf's smile, his frown, the way he looked when he was fighting, running, or even just sitting. All these things he had to commit to memory, he couldn't forget a single one of them. He was only pulled from his reverie when a shadow passed over him and did not leave.

Ceraes stood in front of him, her face blank, staring into his eyes. She couldn't stay away from him, he had lost a friend as much as she had lost a brother.

His normally spirited gray eyes were hollow and lifeless. He had not spoken since he and the others had found the camp. He had been forced to watch, helpless, as his friend disappear forever, and had been crushed by it. He was the only one who could even begin to know how she felt. The only other one who'd seen her brother's smile, heard his laughter, watched his eyes begin to glow when he discovered something new and interesting. He had seen Cendres at his very worst, and, with gentle understanding, had offered a hand for her brother to hold on to.

The mage held a hand out to her now and she took it, sinking to the ground beside him. She buried her face in his shoulder and he held her as she cried for Cendres, for herself, for the Inquisition, and even for Dorian, one more time.

 

* * *

 

_She was in the forest and everything was so large and frightening. It was so empty, so silent. There were bodies all over the ground. She ran and ran, but never seemed to move._

_"Brother! Brother, where are you? I'm scared! Big Brother!"_

_A light appeared in the distance, a soft glow against the trees._

_**"I'm here, Da'assan, you only have to look."** _

 

* * *

 

Ceraes' eyes snapped open and she sat up slowly, careful not to jostle Dorian still sleeping beside her. Everyone was asleep now, it was so late the only light to be had was what little the crescent moon provided.

Something felt...odd. The air around her hummed and she scanned the trees in the distance, not sure what she was looking for and feeling foolish for hoping, even for a second.

And then she was on her feet, sprinting toward the edge of the camp, screaming his name as fresh tears poured from her eyes. She slammed into him full force and he grunted, choking back a curse as she clung to him.

" _Da'assan,_  please, I just had a mountain dropped on me, to go 5 seconds without being crushed by something would be a blessing."

She pulled away and looked up into his face. He looked almost bored with one eyebrow raised and an expression of weary amusement skimming it's way across his features. It was him alright.

By now the whole camp had been woken up, gasps and shouts of awe ringing out all over. The Herald was alive.

It didn't take long for Dorian to appear behind Ceraes, his eyes wide and disbelieving.

"Fancy meeting you here." A lopsided grin appeared on Cendres's face, silver eyes meeting gray.

"But you're dead," Dorian whispered, reaching out.

Cendres grasped the mage's hand, giving it a squeeze, "Oh I'm alive alright. Exhausted, famished, and in great need a warm bath, but I am most certainly alive."

The entire camp gathered around murmuring in awe and shouting questions. Their words fell on deaf ears, however, and they soon gave way to silence.

The image of their Herald, returned from the dead, wrapped in his sister's embrace and holding the hand of the Tevinter mage forever burned into their minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooooookay, I think we've gotten MOST of the serious and somewhat depressing stuff out of the way for now. Not entirely of course, but hey, it's progress. 
> 
> Now we'll be moving on to Skyhold and lots more interesting things will be happening too. Look forward to it =D
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, or if you have any suggestions on how I can improve, feel free to leave a comment. I'd be over the moon to hear from y'all. =]


	6. Terms of Endearment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ _Emma'ir souveri_ ,” Cendres sighed after a while, his gaze drifting to the stars above as he lay back against the shingles. “ _Souveri_ , have I taught you that word, _Ma’samahl_?”  
>  “No,” Dorian murmured, shifting to lay beside him. “You’ve been a rather slow teacher.”  
> “Yes, because it’s not as though I’ve been busy or anything of the sort." Cendres drawled.

_Skyhold_.

Cendres breathed in the cool evening air, staring down at the grounds of the keep from his perch atop the roof of his quarters. He’d been making the climb to get away from his advisors ever since he’d been named Inquisitor, only four short days ago. It was peaceful, very little noise could reach him so high up, and even fewer people. Even Ceraes wouldn’t find him there, she disliked such towering heights.

He searched for her now, trying to make out her form among the other specks below. It wasn’t hard, he only had to find Cullen’s feathered cloak.

They’d been spending much more time together lately. Ceraes insisted that it was so she could learn more about the Inquisition and it’s troops, since, as Bull had pointed out only last night, Cendres himself could not. It didn’t matter what excuse she thought up though, he knew the truth: Ceraes was infatuated with the Commander and simply wanted a reason to be close to him.

She thought her big brother would object, though he wasn’t sure why. Cullen was a good man. Certainly he had his own issues, but who among them could claim they didn’t? Besides, he treated Ceraes with kindness and respect, as an equal in all things, what more could a brother ask for?

He watched them now, grinning at how Ceraes appeared to hang on the blond man’s every word. Even at this distance, it was crystal clear. She was adorable. He’d never tell her that though, it would only go to her head.

“Enjoying the view?”

Cendres leaned over the edge of the roof, looking toward his balcony, his smile growing.

“Indeed I am. come to join me, _Ma’samahl_?”

Dorian stared up at the elf with a mildly worried expression. He tried so hard to come off as nonchalant as he moved to stand just below his friend. Tried, and failed.

“Maker’s breath, do you have to hang off the edge like that?”

“No,” Cendres laughed. “I don’t have to **hang**.”

“I could dangle instead,” he suggested, inching closer to where the roof and empty air met. “Dangling could be fun.”

Dorian’s face paled and he scrambled up next to the elf, grabbing his wrist.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Oh, please, as if I actually would.” Cendres rolled his eyes, laughing.

“Knowing you? Anything’s possible.”

“I should one day, just to see the look on your face,” Cendres teased, bumping the mage with his shoulder. “I could drop down right outside the window of your little nook in the library.”

“And risk giving me a heart attack? I doubt it. Admit it, _acimi mei_ , you’d be lost without me.”

Cendres’ gaze softened, “Yes, I would.”

Dorian cleared his throat and glanced away, “Yes, well, wouldn’t we all."

"In any case, what’re you doing up here? Didn’t I hear Josephine looking for you?

Cendres raised an eyebrow.

“Ah,” Dorian chuckled. “I’ve answered my own question, haven’t I?”

They stayed that way for a time, smiling softly at one another as the evening turned to night. Before long, torches were lit below and all of Skyhold was draped in darkness.

* * *

 

“ _Emma'ir souveri_ ,” Cendres sighed later, his gaze drifting to the stars above as he lay back against the shingles. “ _Souveri_ , have I taught you that word, Ma’samahl?”

“No,” Dorian murmured, shifting to lay beside him. “You’ve been a rather slow teacher.”

“Yes, because it’s not as though I’ve been busy or anything of the sort.” Cendres drawled. He lifted the wrist Dorian still held, shifting in his grip so he could hold the other man’s hand,

“ _Souveri_ ,” he hummed, turning the mages fingers over in his own. “It is a verb, it means tired. Say it.”

“ _Souveri_ ,” Dorian mumbled, staring at the hand Cendres was holding hostage.

“Good,” Dorian could hear the smile in his voice. “So then, ‘ _Emma’ir_ ’, I've told you the basics, what does it mean?”

“I am.”

“Essentially,” Cendres nodded. “Then the phrase as a whole?”

“I am tired.”

Dorian let his gaze shift to the elf’s face, barely visible in the scant moonlight. His eyes were fixed on their interlocked hands, a small, worn smile on his lips. He did look tired. Happy, but tired.

“What else?” Dorian squeezed the elf’s hand, drawing his attention.

“What do you mean?” Cendres blinked at him.

“Teach me something else.”

Cendres’ smile grew, his silver eyes glowing in the moonlight, “What would you like to know?”

“What’s that thing you always call Ceraes? Dassen?”

“ _Da’assan_ ; your pronunciation still needs work,” Cendres laughed. “It means ‘little arrow’.”

“ _Da_ is a prefix, it means small. _Assan_ is a noun meaning arrow. Together: little arrow.”

“And what she calls you?” The mage pressed on.

“ _Ha’el_? It simply means older.”

“And what you call me?”

“ _Ma’samahl_.” Cendres tugged Dorian’s hand and leaned his head closer to the mage’s. His eyes were half lidded, his voice soft and low.

“My…” He trailed off, capturing Dorian’s eyes with his own, leaning ever closer.

“...lazy, unscrupulous student, how ever will you learn if I simply feed you the answers?” Cendres grinned smugly, lightly thumping the mage on the forehead with their hands.

Dorian blinked in surprise, then had to laugh, the elf just looked so please with himself.

“You cheeky bastard! Just tell me!”

The elf just laughed, his whole face lighting up.

“Not a chance,” Cendres said when he could speak again and turned his attention back to the stars.

“Come now, it can’t be that embarrassing.”

“It’s not,” The elf squeezed Dorian’s hand, still focused on the sky. “It’s not even anything particularly eloquent or remarkable.”

“So then, dispense with the secrecy and **tell** me. You know I’ll figure it out on my own eventually.”

“Exactly,” Cendres looked back at the mage, his eyes shining. “Where would the fun be if you didn’t? Think of it as a challenge, Dorian.”

“Fine then,” Dorian huffed. “A challenge it is. I will win, _amici_ , so be prepared.”

Cendres simply chuckled, turning back to the stars.

“I look forward to it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'll admit it, this is filler. I'm having a tough time figuring out how I want to do something so I'm putting this out in the meantime.  
> I had fun writing it though, I always enjoy imagining the conversations Dorian and Cendres have.  
> Never about anything particularly important, just them spending time together.
> 
> Anywho, hope you enjoyed this chapter, cross your fingers for me I get the next one done soon =D
> 
> Thanks for reading =]


	7. Kyraneth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sweet Maker, there’s two of them!” Varric barked.  
> “I think you mean three.” Dorian corrected.

Razor sharp claws, jagged teeth, a great white beast reared, one very unlucky Venatori locked in her jaws.

How had she gotten into this mess? All she wanted, all she’d set out to do, was find her family! She never asked to be attacked! She had only wanted directions, what was it with men and directions?!

And just what was their problem, anyway? She hadn’t been hurting them. Well, she was now, but that was beside the point. Who knew the Hinterlands was such a volatile area?

As the last of her enemies fell, the monster turned, hearing a new battle cry.

Another group was rushing down the hill toward her, a woman in shining armor at its head.

“Stop! Cassandra, no! STOP!”

A young elf threw herself between the woman and the beast, hands outstretched to fend off the warrior.

The beast cocked it’s head to the side, studying the group.

“Stop?! Me?! Are you mad? That’s a Wyvren, get away from it!” The woman shouted.

“She’s not going to hurt us! See?”

The elf girl turned to face the beast, holding out a hand.

“Ceraes!””

Suddenly the beast was gone and a young elf girl with fire red hair was tackling Ceraes to the ground.

“Ceraes, oh thank Dia! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Where is brother? Is he alright? Are you alright?”

Ceraes laughed, hugging the red headed girl, “Slow down, Kyran! One thing at a time!”

She sat up, grinning brightly, and the two turned toward the rest of the group.

“Sweet Maker, there’s two of them!” Varric barked, staring at the nearly identical elves.

“I think you mean three.” Dorian corrected, stepping aside for the Inquisitor.

“CENDRES!” Kyran shrieked, flinging herself off the ground and into Cendres’ arms. He could only manage look annoyed for a few moments before he started laughing. He lifted the girl into the air and spun her around, her thousand questions forgotten.

Ceraes grinned and leaped on her brother’s back, sending the three elves tumbling to the ground in a heap.

The rest of the party looked on in amazement. Save Dorian, none of them had ever seen Cendres act in such a manner, and even he was surprised by his friend’s sudden outburst.

After a time, the siblings grew calm once more, though Kyran still hung on to her brother and sister, holding them close.

“I missed you guys so much.” She whispered.

“We missed you too.” Ceraes hugged her tightly.

Cendres simply hummed in agreement, wrapping both girls up in a tight embrace.

“ _Emma lethal’lan’in, emma vhen’an’in_.”

* * *

 “So, how many of you are there exactly?” Sera asked later once they’d made it back to camp, staring down the siblings.

“Just us three,” Ceraes laughed. “I promise.”

“Well, considering that, up until about an hour ago, we all thought there were only two of you, you can’t blame the girl for wondering.” Varric pointed out, raising an eyebrow at Cendres.

“Yes, Inquisitor, why did you not tell us about her before?” Cassandra frowned at the elves.

Cendres shrugged, “It didn’t seem important at the time, she wasn’t here. Now she is, so now it is. And, I suppose, introductions are in order.”

“Everyone,” Cendres put his hand on Kyran’s shoulder. “This is my sister--”

“My twin!” Ceraes rushed to add.

“Kyraneth.”

“Why are you all different colors?” Cole stared awkwardly at the siblings, studying them.

Cendres laughed, it was a common question. Though they all shared startlingly similar facial features, all three siblings had different hair and eye colors. Cendres with white locks and silver eyes, Ceraes with jet black and electric blue, and finally Kyraneth with fire red and emerald green.

“Are you really all related?” Sera asked, squinting at the three. “Especially you two, you can’t possibly be twins looking like that.”

“We can, and we are.” Kyran replied.

“And that is all that needs to be said on the matter.” Cendres said, his expression leaving no room for argument.

* * *

“She never fit in with the others in the clan.” Cendres told Dorian later, watching Kyran flit about the camp, learning everyone's names. “None of us did, but her the least.”

“We already had more than enough mages, and her magic manifested while she was still so young.”

“They were afraid of her, so they sent her away. I argued with our Keeper for weeks, trying to make her reconsider, but it wasn’t her I had to convince. She would have let Kyran stay, she knew how much it meant to me, keeping our family together, it was the clan that wanted her gone. There was nothing I could do.”

Dorian glanced over at the lively red head. She was having all sorts of fun joking with The Iron Bull, dancing with Sera, discussing the Fade with Solas; she was the light in her family. She made the night brighter, the air lighter, and brought a smile to everyone's face.

“It must have been hard to watch her go.”

Cendres stared at his little sister, her green eyes glimmering as she and Solas began to argue the merits of transfiguration.

“Surprisingly, no.” He smiled, she’d just turned a nearby druffalo into a nug, startling her companions and drawing a laugh from her sister.

“She was ready to go. She knew what they all thought of her, it was only holding her back. She wanted to travel, to learn, and this was her chance.”

“Not long after she was supposed to have made it to her new clan, Ceraes and I received a letter. She had met a Qunari mercenary group called the Valo’kas and wouldn’t be staying with the new clan after all.”

“That explains the hair.” Dorian laughed, gesturing to the girls long braided tresses.

“She just sounded so happy in her letters after that. I was proud of her, I still am. I’m glad she came to find us.”

“Really?” Dorian raised an eyebrow. “Because, if I remember correctly, you tried to chase Ceraes off when she showed up.”

“Yes,” Cendres smiled, his eyes turning to the mage. “And someone made me realize how foolish I was being, turning away from the person who cared most about me in the world. I’m not ignorant enough to make the same mistake twice.”

“I’ll be worried for her, you can bet on that, but I’m stronger for having her here. Her and Ceraes.”

Dorian watched the Inquisitor's eyes steel with determination.

“And now that we’re all together, nothing will ever separate us again.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Emma lethal’lan’in, emma vhen’an’in._ \--My sisters, my hearts
> 
> Allllllllllllrighty, so, our family is complete!
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed meeting Kyran, she is actually the character of a dear friend of mine.  
> You see, this whole story started when I made my second Inquisitor. I was all, "Yeah! I'm gonna make a girl and romance Cullen!"  
> So I did. And when I was done making her I was like: "Yeah, look at you, you're so damn pretty! My pretty bab--heywaitaminute..."  
> She looked exactly like Cendres. I basically remade Cendres, but as a girl. *head desk*  
> So then, I sent a picture to my friend Cali and she was like, "hey I should make an elf, they could be cousins and stuff. That'd be neat."  
> And I was like, yeah, okay, cool.  
> Then she made her. And she too looked exactly like Cendres. So we went, fuck it! Twins! And smashed them all together.
> 
> So, yeah, shenanigans. 
> 
> Anywho, thank you so much for reading.  
> Leave a comment if you're so inclined, I love hearing from y'all =D  
> See y'all next time =]


	8. The Lavellan Family (The Babies)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look at the pretty babies, they're so pretty OwO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in a while, work has been keeping me quite busy and I started going to the gym recently as well. =D  
> Anywho, since you've all been so patient with me, I thought I'd post some pics of Cendres, Ceraes, and Kyraneth.  
> The next chapter is coming soon, I promise. Sorry it's taking so long ^^;  
> The art was done by my good friend Cali (http://calitv.tumblr.com/), she is fab OwO

_**Cendres** _

 

 

_**Ceraes** _

 

_**Kyraneth** _


	9. Noise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And then you stopped! You can never stop, Solas!” Cendres snarled. “You try and try and try again until things change! You don’t give up halfway through and then complain about it! If you want something to change, FIGHT!”

New sights, new people, new places every day, now this was an adventure!

Kyran flitted around Skyhold, grinning at the crows that followed in her wake as she stretched the wings of her eagle form. She lead them on a merry chase, dipping in and out of open windows, diving past unassuming workers, and frightening more than a few servants. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her brother appear on top of the mage tower.

 _Well_ , she thought as she sped toward him. _It isn’t a mage tower yet, but once I get my hands on it, it will be!_

She flew straight toward the other elf, banking right at the last second to avoid crashing into him. He laughed as she and the crows surrounded him, and held out an arm for her to light on.

“Lets see just how good you’ve gotten _Emm’asha_. _Ar’an vi!_ ”

He threw her back into the air where she hung for a moment before spinning in midair and the two bolted for the edge of the roof. Cendres leaped off, embracing the empty air, and roll into his landing as he struck the ramparts below.

A few unsuspecting mages shrieked when the Inquisitor fell out of the sky next to them, but he just laughed, too focused on his sister hovering off to his left. The two blew down the ramparts, Cendres at full sprint with Kyran soaring beside him. Closed doors meant nothing, Kyran flung them open with a thought. Ah, the perks of being a mage.

The wind whistled in their ears and the sun shone in their eyes; it had been ages since their last race. In the forests, Cendres would have leaped through the trees, shouting taunts and throwing leaves as Kyran ducked under branches and screeched back at him. He was always more alive with her around. Making jokes, dancing, singing, playing; he was a child again in the presence of her vibrant light. Their friends in the clan would have taken bets on who would win and called out encouragement. Their Keeper would have laughed at their vivacity while Ceraes would have yelled at them to be more careful. This was home: this exhilaration, this shared insanity. To Kyran, the whole world seemed to glow brighter when they were together.

“INQUISITOR!”

Cassandra had spotted them from the ground when she noticed startled recruits diving out of their way above her.

“Inquisitor?! What in Andraste’s name are you doing?!”

Cendres didn’t hear her, his eyes fixed on the path ahead, a wild smile dancing on his lips.

“Leave it,” Ceraes advised, appearing next to the seeker. “They always do this, just sit back and enjoy the show. I had to learn how a long time ago.”

It didn’t take long for a crowd to form, it really was a sight to see. It wasn’t just a race, but a game. An intricate dance between the two of them.

Kryan would often dive at her brother’s feet or his head, forcing him to either leap over her or roll out of her way. Sometimes Cendres would jump up to run along the battlements and she would weave in and out of the openings beneath his feet. Then he would jump over her and the two would twist midair as they passed by one another. Always graceful, never fumbling, it was quite the performance.

“I thought you were going to beat me this time!” Cendres shouted as they neared the end of their track. With that he surged forward, leaving Kyran several wingbeats behind. He cornered hard, leaping off the battlements to land on the roof of the stables and rolling down to the ground below.

When he came to a halt, he dusted off his trousers, then gave an exaggerated shrug as he turned around.

“Well, _Emm’asha_ , looks like I win again, you’ll have to try harder nex--”

“Oh please.”

She was already there, seated on the ground in front of him.

“If you were any slower, I’d’ve grown old waiting for you.”

Her green eyes sparkled as her brother’s mouth fell open in surprise. But then he was laughing and she was laughing and the crowd that had gathered to watch them surged up to meet them.

Cole appeared next to Kyran, grinning, a look of awe in his eyes.

“Flying, spinning, dancing. A game made only for the two of them. Watch the sun and moon soar.”

Kyran laughed and pulled him into a hug, “I’ll teach it to you next time, _Da’mi_. Then you can soar with us.”

“More likely you’ll just break something.”

The smile on Cendres’ face soured as Solas stepped out of the crowd.

“A word, Inquisitor?”

“I already told you,” Cendres growled. “I have nothing more to say on the matter. Go away and stop ruining my good mood.”

“But you let them go without their fully understanding the--”

“Then you should have explained it to them!” Cendres rounded on the other elf, glaring. “You should have shared what you knew and **_made_** them understand, Solas!”

He crowded into the mage’s space, his face dark and thunderous.

“But, _nooooooo_. ‘They wouldn’t have listened’ you say. How do you know when you don’t try?!”

“I **have** tried--” Solas drew himself up, trying to regain some ground.

“And then you stopped! You can never stop, Solas!” Cendres snarled. “You try and try and try again until things change! You don’t give up halfway through and then complain about it! If you want something to change, FIGHT!”

When Solas said nothing in return, Cendres spun on his heel and stalked away.

An awkward silence fell over the courtyard until Cassandra finally broke the spell.

“Everyone back to your duties, we’ve spent enough time gawking for one day.”

The crowd scattered, recruits went back to their training, mages to the library, even Cole disappeared. Finally only Kyran and Solas were left still staring at the spot where Cendres had once stood.

“You don’t get on well with my brother, do you?” She ventured.

Solas snorted, not looking at her. “What was your first clue?”

“So,” Kyran stood, dusting off her robes. “Wanna tell me what that was all about?”

“We encountered a Dalish clan on our last excursion. They had stumbled upon some ancient ruins and were taking up residence in them. They also started performing some of their rituals there. And yet, they were surprised when angry spirits appeared and attacked them.”

“We set things right in the end, but it could have gone so much worse. They thought the ruins were simply haunted and resolved to move on, but they were not! The ritual had drawn the spirits there, they should have known! But your brother did not fully explain this to them, he just told them to keep their rituals out of ancient ruins. They ought to know better!”

“How?” Kyran asked, fixing him with an even gaze. “How could they have possibly known?”

“I’ve heard you say before that the Dalish don’t really understand half the rituals they perform, they just go by the pieces of information they can find and make up the rest with assumptions. How could they possibly know what would happen based on misinterpreted misinformation?”

“They simply should not have done it! If you don’t understand something, you should not attempt it!” Solas spun around to face her, looking exasperated.

“Shoulds are lovely things, aren’t they?” Kyran cocked her head to one side. “So if I say something _should_ be then it is?”

Kyran pointed to a horse in the stables.

“That horse should be a unicorn.”

The horse looked up from it’s hay lazily, but remained a horse.

“Hmm, that didn’t work so well. How ‘bout this?”

She pointed toward a dying soldier at the healer’s tents.

“That man should live. Oh wait, he got stabbed in the lung, so that’s not going to happen.”

She threw her arms out wide.

“All children should listen to their parents. Spiders shouldn’t be so creepy. Fire shouldn’t be hot. The sky should be red.”

Kryan looked up in mock surpise.

“It’s still blue. Wierd.”

Her green eyes fell to Solas’ face.

“Gosh, you know, it’s almost like just because something _should_ be, that doesn’t mean it _is_.”

She let her arms fall back to her sides, giving the man a chastising look.

“My brother was right. If you want things to change, you have to change them. If you wanted them to stop doing that ritual, you should have explained why. My brother isn’t a mage and he hasn’t studied the Fade, only you could have made them understand. And, from what I gather, you didn’t even try, you just left it up to Cendres. Well, that’s what you get then.”

Solas wouldn’t look at her.

“Why do you hate the Dalish so much?”

“They know so little, and understand even less.” He grumbled.

“Gee, I wonder why.” Kyran muttered, shaking her head.

“Look, there are good Dalish and bad Dalish, just like there are good Humans and bad Humans. Our people--”

“They are not _my_ people.”

Kyran sighed, rubbing a hand over her face.

“Yes, they are. I don’t know where everyone got the idea that Dalish elves and other elves are so different. Yes, the Dalish culture is different, but that’s it, and I’ve met plenty of city elves who still follow Dalish tradition. Saying Dalish elves and other elves are a different people, is like saying pale humans and dark humans are a different people. Sure, they look different and they may have different beliefs and customs, but they’re still the same people. They’re still Humans, just like we’re still Elvhen. We came from the same place, from the same ancestors, we are, in essence, the same. And we are different, but no so different. It’d be ignorant to say otherwise.”

Solas glanced at her, then away again.

“Don’t think I don’t see you, by the way. You’re always staring at my face when you think I’m not looking. Staring at my Vallaslin.”

He was surprise, how had she known? He sighed, finally looking at her. She seemed frustrated and upset.

“I don’t know what you see when you look at my face, probably just another pointless ritual, but I know what I see. I see all that was: Tired, old teachings that are failing us and need to be changed. I see my clan: Mostly selfish and full of people too ignorant and unwilling to change. I see my prison: A place where I was feared and ridiculed by many.”

Solas coughed, a confused frown forming on his face.

Kryan pressed on, her eyes turning softer as a smile worked it’s way across her lips.

“But I also I see my brother: The first face I can remember, smiling down at me and singing me to sleep when I was afraid. I see my sister: Her hand holding mine in a death grip as our Keeper etches these marks into our skin. I see all that can be: New thinking, enlightened viewpoints. A clan I met in my travels with a former **city elf** as their Keeper, and another with a former **slave** as their First. I see my clan: A few wonderful friends that stood with me against the hate and vitriol. I see my _**home**_ and the people I love most in the world.”

Solas stared at her in something almost like awe, who was this woman? This wasn't the same goofy girl who zipped around Skyhold and brought home strange animals. This wasn't the same girl who poked fun at her siblings and started food fights in the tavern. This was someone entirely different. Someone wise and worldly. Someone who spoke with such passion that he was entranced.

“I don’t know what you see when you look at my face. I don’t know what other Dalish see when they look at my face. Frankly, I don’t care. I don’t care what these marks mean to anyone else, to me they mean home. They mean family. They mean that no matter how far apart we are, my brother and sister and I will **_always_** be together.”

“Everything else is just noise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Emm’asha_ -My Girl  
>  _Ar’an vi!_ -Let's go! (Literally: We go)  
>  _Da’mi_ -Little blade
> 
> Hoo boy, that only took me forever.  
> I had the story rattling around in my head for quite a while but I wasn't sure how to execute it.  
> Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I also hope I wrote Solas properly, any feedback on how I can do better is greatly appreciated.  
> Thanks for reading =]


	10. Uncomplicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have you ever noticed,” He began, shifting to rest his elbows on his knees. “That whenever I ask you something about yourself, we somehow end up talking about your brother instead?”  
> Ceraes stiffened, “And?”  
> “Well, I’d like to know more about **_you ___ ******.”

If Ceraes had to pick one word to describe her relationship with Cullen, it would be “uncomplicated”. They had sort of tripped into things and she was amazed at how well it was all working out.

Apparently Varric had put 10 sovereigns on her being the one to initiate things; needless to say, that was one bet he’d won rather easily. Ceraes wasn’t a particularly patient woman and had grown tired to waiting for the Commander to broach the subject, so she’d done it for him. It had all gone quite smoothly if she did say so herself. It had been a bit embarrassing when that scout interrupted their kiss with some useless report, but things had turned out alright in the end.

The support from her friends was wonderful too. Everyone just accepted their being together, no questions asked. Cendres had given his approval almost immediately, as had Kyran (though she had added that if Cullen ever hurt her sister then he should expect to gain intimate knowledge on the Snowy Wyvren’s gestational tract).

Yes, uncomplicated was definitely the word Ceraes would choose. But then, that was a word that could be used to describe Ceraes herself in general.

She didn’t have the fate of the world resting on her shoulders like her brother did and she wasn’t magically gifted, thus making her an outcast, like her sister. Compared to her siblings, Ceraes was a remarkably unremarkable young elf. Even as children, she had always seemed the most...well, normal.

Kyran had had her magic, of course, and she had spent every waking moment learning everything she could about it as soon as she understood what was going on. Honestly, Ceraes had always felt a bit lonely (and maybe even a little jealous) watching her sister with their Keeper as she discovered her new abilities.

And then there was her brother. Cendres would spend, days, weeks, sometimes even months away from the clan when he left on hunts. He would almost always return with plenty of food, herbs, and sometimes even gifts for his sisters. Books on magical theory or herbology or zoology for Kyran and a new bow or a flute and new sheet music for Ceraes.

He also almost always looked older when he came back. Ceraes knew that was most likely because they had all still been so young, still growing, but there had always been a part of her that wondered: What exactly happened to her brother when he went away? He never told her, whenever she asked where he’d been and what he’d done he would reply in the same fashion.

“Somewhere over the rainbow to find a new sky.”

She still didn’t understand what it meant, even now, but he always looked wistful when he said it, his eyes turning sad as he drifted away somewhere she couldn’t reach him.

Ceraes shook herself from her reverie, noticing Cullen staring at her from across the chessboard.

“I’m sorry, was it my turn?” She blushed, looking at the board. Had she been winning? She couldn’t remember.

“It’s alright, I enjoy watching you.” Cullen said.

Ceraes raised an eyebrow, grinning.

“I mean--!” He blushed, tripping over his words. “You always look so enthralled when you get lost in your thoughts, it’s interesting to watch!”

Ceraes giggled, putting a hand to her mouth to hide her smile. He dragged a hand down his face but grinned back, looking embarrassed.

 They played a while longer, sitting in companionable silence. After a time though, she realized he was still watching her.

“Cullen?” She cocked her head to one side, staring at him curiously.

“You always look so preoccupied,” He murmured. “Where do you go when you drift away?”

Ceraes turned, watching the clouds drift by through the window of his room.

“Somewhere over the rainbow to find a new sky…” She mumbled, turning the phrase over on her tongue again.

“What?”

“Nothing,” She smiled, turning back to him. “Just something my brother used to say whenever he would go away and I’d ask him where he’d been. I think it was something they must have said before the fire”

Cullen frowned slightly, giving a little sigh.

Ceraes blinked in confusion.

“Have you ever noticed,” He began, shifting to rest his elbows on his knees. “That whenever I ask you something about yourself, we somehow end up talking about your brother instead?”

Ceraes stiffened, “And?”

“Well, I’d like to know more about **_you_**.”

Ceraes looked away, rubbing her palms on her breeches.

“You even do it when you talk about your parents. You never call them ‘mother’ or ‘father’ or even just your parents. You always say ‘they’ or ‘before the fire’ or something like that. Why is that? They’re not just his, they’re your family too.”

“Look,” Ceraes frowned, standing to pace around the room. “Something you have to understand, something I told you the first day we met, is that learning about me, getting to know me, is learning about and getting to know Cendres. I know I’m my own person with my own experiences, but I really don’t think you’re quite getting it. No, don’t interrupt, this is important.”

She strode from one wall to the next, gesticulating wildly. Her blue eyes shone bright and she kept running her hands through her hair, mussing the wavy black locks till they stuck out at odd angles all over her head.

“My entire life quite literally revolves around my brother. Without him, I’d be dead in a forest somewhere. He didn’t have to bring Kyran and I to the clan. They were very private people, even for elves, the clan didn’t even know we existed. After everything that happened, after the fire, he could have just left us in the forest. We were so young, we didn’t even know how to talk, we’d have just died and no one would have ever known. He didn’t HAVE to save us, but he did.”

“He’s my whole world. I’ve spent all my life with him. He’s not just my brother, but my father and mother too. That’s why I don’t call them my parents, because they really aren’t, he is. He raised me. He fed and clothed me. He lulled me back to sleep when I woke screaming from nightmares. He taught me how to hunt, and to sing, and to laugh, and how to say I love you. He taught me all those things.”

“I’m sorry I talk about my brother a lot, but he made me who I am. Everything you like about me, all the greatest parts of me, they all came from him. That doesn’t mean I’m not my own person and that I don’t take credit for my own accomplishments; my voice is my own, my thoughts are my own, my feelings are my own, but no part of me would exist without him. Imagine how different you would be if you hadn’t gone into the Templar order, it’s a similar thing.”

Cullen finally rose, catching hold of her hand as she went around for another lap. He pulled her close and chuckled into her hair.

“I understand, I’m sorry.”

Her muscles loosened and she lifted her arms to wrap around his back. She buried her face in his chest, tickling her nose on the feathers of his silly cloak.

“Do you ever take this thing off?” She muttered, her voice somewhat muffled.

“I can be persuaded every now and then.” He joked, pulling back to kiss her forehead.

“But you’re right, I was being unfair. Asking you to talk about your childhood and not mention your brother is like asking me to not mention the Templars. Both played very big roles in our lives, it’d be foolish to think we could leave them out of conversation.”

Ceraes smiled, rising up on her toes to press her forehead against his.

“Sorry I went a little crazy, thank you for understanding. And for not running as far away from me a possible.”

He tilted his head, laughing before pressing his lips against her own.

She hummed happily, her arms moving to wrap around his neck and pull him closer.

Yes, she thought as he wrapped her up in his embrace, pulling her body to his and shutting the rest of the world away. Uncomplicated. Simple. Carefree.

She knew there would come a time when things would become less so. When life would press on before they were ready. When he wouldn’t accept her explanations so easily and without question. When the little box in his drawer, filled with instruments not meant for music but for power, would step between them. When ghosts from both their pasts would come back to haunt them. But for now, they would enjoy their simplicity. Enjoy uncomplicated.

She sighed as he deepened the kiss and smiled against his lips, finally understanding. In her arms she held everything her brother had always gone looking for.

Somewhere over the rainbow to find a new sky.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap this took me forever to get out, I am so sorry D=  
> There's a good reason for it though, I promise. You see, I really, really, really, really, REALLY didn't want to write a Ceraes and Cullen chapter. Really. But I also didn't NOT want to write a Ceraes and Cullen chapter. Basically I would have felt guilty for skipping over them so I just kept putting it off. I was having an extremely hard time thinking of a good story-line for them too.  
> Then, while I was a work one day, it hit me.  
>   
> When I made Ceraes in the game, I really didn't intend to have much of an attachment to her and I honestly don't, at least not as much as Cendres. She was pretty much a carbon copy of him in every way except for her relationship with Cullen. It's not that I don't care about her at all, of course I do, she's my baby, but I just don't really have any particularly strong feelings about her like I do Cendres or even Kyran (since when I look at Kyran I see one of my best friends in the whole world).  
> I really didn't expect people to be all that interested in her, so when I received messages saying:  
> "Can't wait for some Ceraes and Cullen stuff!"  
> I was pretty surprised. Happy, because that meant people were enjoying her as a character which in turn meant they were enjoying my writing, but surprised. Seriously, I'm super happy people like her, don't get me wrong, it just leaves me feeling guilty when I don't particularly want to write about her.  
>   
> So, what this all means is that, while she is still going to be a big part of the story (how could she not be?), she isn't likely to have very many chapters dedicated just to her. She'll always be there and I'll always talk about her and what not, but I just have a really hard time thinking up things to write about for her. She's not going anywhere though, I promise, she's just gonna chill in the background a bit more like she likes to. Uncomplicated, see?  
>   
> Anywho, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, sorry I got a little rambling here. As always, if you have any thoughts or opinions on anything, I'd love to hear them.  
> Also, I'll do my best to not take as long getting the next chapter out as I did this one.  
> See y'all next time =]


End file.
